


Bipartisan Booze

by leigh_adams



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 16:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2818721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leigh_adams/pseuds/leigh_adams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh Lyman: testing the limits of bipartisanship one omnibus bill at a time (<i>How did CJ get so lucky?</i>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bipartisan Booze

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this nearly a year ago, but I realized I'd never archived it (while, coincidentally, watching old episodes on Netflix). This was originally written for [Last Fan Standing](http://lastfanstanding.dreamwidth.org/) \-- my first attempt at _The West Wing_ fic.

"I have never been more driven to drink than I am at this very moment."

CJ glanced up from her newspaper, fixing the man sprawled prone across her sofa with a wry look. "Really, Joshua? Because that's what you said last month when you were whipping the House on our immigration bill."

"Immigration is making this go around look like a walk in the freakin park." The whining figure, better known to the world as Joshua Lyman, White House Deputy Chief of Staff, covered his eyes with his forearm and groaned. "Where's Donna? I need scotch. Lots of scotch."

"Donna went to pick up beer."

"Call her and tell her to stop at the liquor store on Fifteenth Street. _Carol!_ "

"Hey!" CJ threw a pen at him. "Save your bellowing for your own assistant. Mine's already gone home."

"Home?" Josh glanced at his watch. "It's only eleven thirty."

"P.M., Joshua. I try to let her home before midnight at least once as week."

"Soft woman."

"I prefer magnanimous boss. Something Donna would never accuse _you_ of being."

Josh groaned and shifted, tossing his legs over the far arm of the sofa. "Claudia Jean, I need alcohol."

"What's got your panties in a twist this time, mi amore?" She glanced back down at the paper. The rest of the world might think she was checking up on the day's bylines, doing her homework on the White House press corp. She had assistants for that; she was all about the daily crossword. 

"Republicans."

"Is that all?"

"NO, it's not all. Democrats, too. And this freaking behemoth piece of legislation known as the Farm Security and Rural Investment Act of 2002."

That got CJ's attention. "Wait. You're not telling me you're bemoaning the fate of the known universe because of the _Farm Bill_."

"I know!"

CJ dropped the paper and adjusted her glasses, pushing them up her nose. "Joshua, it's the _Farm Bill_."

"Putting the emphasis on Farm Bill doesn't change anything, Claudia Jean."

CJ shook her head in frustration. "I don't understand. The Farm Bill, it's the one thing Congress can agree on. It's the last remaining legislative exercise that's truly bipartisan!"

"Yeah, well, tell that to the Republicans. They hate farmers."

"You know, Josh, I really doubt they do. I may be but a lowly Press Secretary, unfit to debate policy with your like, but I'm pretty sure a large number of Congressional Republicans represent largely rural districts. Where they, you know, raise cattle and grow corn." She signed and tossed her pen atop the abandoned paper. When Josh got worked up like this, he commanded attention -- and then whined like a little boy until someone gave it to him.

With Donna out on errands, it looked like that duty had fallen to her. How _had_ she gotten so lucky?

She reached for the little container of fish food and sprinkled some on top of the water. Dark eyes flicked down to the fish bowl where Gail the Goldfish happily rose to the top and started to eat. "Besides, I thought you said last week Speaker Walken was confident he'd get it to the floor within the week?"

"It's like a freaking snake eating it's own damn tail. It's a circle of misery."

"Let me guess: food stamps?"

"Food stamps." Josh swung his legs over the side of the couch and sat up, fisting his hand through his unruly mop of hair. "Man, I hate agriculture."

"You really don't."

"I think I do."

"Go tell that to the dairy farmer in Wisconsin that raised the cow that provided the milk to make the cheese on your pizza. I'm sure he'd be happy to withhold cheese from you for that blasphemy." CJ fixed her old friend and coworker with a smirk. "You eat. We all need ag."

Josh, ever the mature one, poked his tongue out at her. "Yeah, well, whatever. Next you're going to be telling me I can't hate Congress."

"Boo Boo, I'd never say such a thing."


End file.
